Eternal Friend (remix)

his friends a peace of Jesus share

Gods Pen is awesome still the one

My mate or saviour open where

his friends a peace of Jesus share

In troubled Joy No heart burns there

with bright release I teach my son

his friends a peace of Jesus share

Gods Pen is awesome still the one



* Made entirely from words from "Eternal Friend" by Paul A Giles (a different person, i assure you). This other fine poem can be viewed at poetry.com here.

Discovery

1.

He never came back.


2.

Ages later
Jacky Jacky returned
razor thin

and said
He’s gone.

he appeared
upset
but maybe


a light
I failed to see
hid within


3.

what was dreamed of
beyond the ancient desert bones
the very centre


4.

camels burnt throat mutiny
shed like dead skin

the only one
man enough
to make it.

He stumbled
splashed
dove

5.

it tasted rich
like salt.


6.

right at the centre
acid tears
ate

dissolving

even bones.

Bathroom Bliss (original article)

Dear Fairy Godmother
Our son is a committed bachelor, a hermit in fact. On the whole he is extremely clean and tidy; it is only his flair for décor that is ghastly. I believe he may get that from his father’s side of the family…
His bathroom is so bad I have stopped visiting him, lest I get caught short and have to spend a penny. Fairy Godmother, can you help?
Yours sincerely
Disturbed Mother

WIN
A $500 VOUCHER FROM FREEDOM
Do you know someone with a bad case of interior design? Send details of their design disaster and photos to Your Home & Garden, Private Bag 92-512, Wellesley St. Auckland. If their room is selected, they’ll get a Fairy Godmother assessment and a $500 Freedom voucher to get them started.

freedom™

Our Fairy Godmother
whips this poor boy into shape with her suggestions for fixing his uninspiring bachelor bathroom.

Your wish is granted…
BATHROOM BLISS
Dear Disturbed Mother
Your son’s bathroom shows an acute level of apathy, depression even. Did he attend boarding school perchance? The toilet and bathroom have all the allure of an airline salad, albeit with a slightly higher level of bacteria.
It is clear to me that something must be done to help your son. A beautiful bathroom is the first step to happiness and, in this world of madness, it is a sane man who strives to achieve this.
I would start this process by gutting that rat hole of his. The sarcophagus bath, the upright tomb of a shower and grisly toilet all have to go. The lino alone may require a blessing by a priest; it looks like Satan’s vinyl to me.
One’s WC is a room of function and with that in mind I favour simplicity of design for ease and expediency of use.
The ultimate bathroom traffic-stopper has to be a mosaic tiled mural by Bisazza. Exquisitely crafted, fabulously gorgeous and infinitely desirable, these beauties are worth saving up for.
I am a great proponent of the fully-tiled bathroom. Tile the walls and the shower to the ceiling to create a clean and streamlined effect. A good safety tip is to use an outdoor tile on the floor. It will have better non-skid properties and help eliminate nasty accidents.
These days, some people opt not to put a bath in their bathroom. Fools! They obviously place no value in wallowing in sybaritic splendour with a bottle of fine red wine and a good book. Like the perfect woman, look for big and beautiful when selecting your bath.
Vanities on the other hand, should be publicly shunned. These cesspits of old make-up and expired medications are such a health hazard. Install a pedestal or wall-mounted basin, two side by side if the room is available. Keep the area around the base of the vessel clear of clutter.
Storage should be at a height that you can access easily. I like tall, slim, mobile units. They are not intrusive spatially or visually and, surprisingly, hold more junk than an under-basin vanity cupboard.
Consider heating and ventilation issues in the bathroom. A warm, well-aired powder room is mildew-free and comfortable. Beware of bathroom window treatments, as most are just mould catchers. Better to frost the pane.
A heated mirror is a welcome option, most men love to look at themselves and I am sure your son is no exception.
Taps are functional items. Choose simplicity and practicality over fussy, complicated design. The same goes for toilets. Look for a strong, comfortable seat and contemplate an internal wall flush system if you have limited space.
Towels and accessories are the icing on the cake. Rule of thumb is that beach towels, like the budgie smuggler, are for the beach. Keep them out of the bathroom, they look cheap. Ergo, avoid kitschy accessories; they bring down the tone of a beautiful bathroom faster than skid marks in a toilet bowl.

Bathroom Bliss

Bachelor Bisazza should not spend a penny on fixing
his Disturbed Mother with grisly treatments: just
one $500 Freedom voucher would clean her up for days.
Look how she whips this poor boy of hers up to
a level of apathy so bad he is committed. His mother
is the first step to happiness in a world gone bad with
Satan’s vinyl depression. Consider the rule that sybaritic
fools require ease and expediency of use to be

desirable, these beauties, ergo, have a nasty case of mould.
The perfect woman is mildew-free and clear from clutter,
albeit most have madness issues. Vanities on the other hand
choose tall, slim, mobile junk to use in cesspools.
Beware: men love to look like skid-marks caught on lino.
Keep them out of the bathroom, they look cheap.



* Uses text from an article of same title in a NZ House & Garden magazine.

Guidelines

Airplane takes the Butterfly Cake.
Drum never ends where home begins.


Elephant at night, turkish delight.
Flower on Grape’s like honey on Harp.


Ice cream in Jacket took the Kettle back.
Lemon of november makes Mushroom remember.


Notation is the poor man's Orange.
Pencil made Queen still sings the same Rainbow.


Snowman with Tree, Umbrella runs free.
Violin dreams are never built below.


Watch for the buttered side of knife.
Xylophone strikes each Yellow Zebra twice.

To Jane

swiftly swept upon the main
a breathless presence left serene
now falls beneath awaited rain

gently trace each precious vein
this holy night a crowning queen
so swiftly swept upon the main

overcome past mirror’s tain
an image greater than the seen
how fell for me beneath your rain

brushed against the golden grain
body fixed to body’s lean
closely clasp the flowing mane

soar above my soul terrain
a pointed sight transfixing keen
that falls on me within this rain

a touch to wrap unopened pain
unlocks the reason how we mean
so closely swept upon the main
so sweetly clasped within the rain

Shit part 12

They counted Tyra’s less offensive and less inoffensive shots as spit and sticky mucus.

The less offensive shots ended up to be sticky with saliva, but they had not proceeded with the wish to turn dick loose in Tyra’s shot, cheering dick, the man Eminem wants this anus and crack to cheer.

Therefore, Eminem digests the shit, as the way to give the anus cheer after the first attraction, into soft toilet paper or hide of a hippo, but a hippo on crack.

It penetrates now to the middle of Tyra's torso, then seven cracks around Tyra's nose. Now, it penetrates into Tyra's hippo. Tyra's guests penetrate a crack. They penetrate through Tyra's lovers, who simulate to penetrate with farts that were still big on crack.

It is not so much the width or blackness of crack, or their enjoyment of this crack, as the number of types Tyra penetrates. The deeper Tyra can penetrate into the anus, the nicer.

It is nearly as if the delicious smell would emanate daily.